December 10, 2008

The Depressing State Of Affairs

So it's coming to that time again...my birthday, and the end of another year. It's time once again to look at my life, and take stock of things. Now while I must admit that there have been some wonderful events in my life over the last couple of months (mainly moving to our "big house in the country", and being closer to Clare and her family which has let me spend lots of quality time hanging out with them), the unfortunate events are once again overshadowing the joyous ones.

As most of you know, we lost Monica's mom to Lou Gehrig's disease a few months ago, and much like after our mother died, life hasn't been the same since. Kim was just the latest in an ever growing list of loved ones we've lost over the last 7 years or so. I'm beginning to think the words to the song are true, "Only the good die young", because both of our mothers were taken well before their time. They had so much more life to live and love to give, and to lose them in such painful ways has put a damper on what should be a bright and happy time of year.

Then there's the whole job situation. First of all, let me just say that I am profoundly grateful to at least HAVE a job, when so many others out there are struggling to do anything they can just to make ends meet. That being said, I will be 34 next Thursday, and I am currently earning the lowest wages that I've received since just after I got out of college. I was doing okay, sort of, when I was working at OfficeMax in Acworth, but I took a fair pay cut when I transferred to the Athens store, and it definitely shows. The last paycheck I received, the first one from my new store, was the lowest paycheck I've received in years, several hundred dollars less than what I was earning before the move. I just can't live like this! I'm approaching middle age, I have a college degree (sure it's a basically useless B.Sc. in Communication, but it's a degree!), I have numerous computer skills, and the job I'm currently working at is paying me less than $9/hour.

To put it mildly (and crudely), THAT SUCKS!!! Why can't I get a job that pays what I'm worth (or at least something more than $12-$15 and hour?) Why can't I get a job that's Monday -Friday, with weekends off, and on a set schedule? (Okay yes, if I take over the ImPress department at my new store I'll have a Monday - Friday shift, and slightly better pay, but it's still not really going to be enough, and definitely not what I'm worth.) Next week will mark my 2nd year with OfficeMax (the longest I've ever worked for a single company at one time), and I should be due for a raise by the end of the year, but even if we GET raises, they'll only be a few cents, and I'll still be earning way less than I was when I was a Supervisor. I'm in somewhat of a dead end job where I am, because there's not really anywhere I can go in the ImPress department, and I don't want to go into management or anything, because I don't really like or enjoy retail...I just do it because half the time it's the only place one can find a job, especially in this crappy job market with this current economy.

So as I approach my 34th birthday, I can't help despairing about my current situation. I'm in a crappy low paying and dead end job, I live in this wonderful house all alone most of the time because Monica's transfer STILL hasn't gone through, and things don't look like they're going to improve any time soon. I didn't really mean to go off on a rant quite so much, but this rainy weather isn't helping either. It's the kind of weather that encourages too much thinking, and right now there are too many things that I don't want to think about...

On a different note however, I have plans to make a movable fish/game cleaning station that I can use out in the yard to clean and process any fish or wild game I might harvest. I have a vision in my head, and I'm going to draw out some sketches. If I can build it like I want to, it will come in handy for lots of things. And who knows...maybe if it comes out REALLY well, I can try and sell them for some extra money! Stay tuned to see how this idea pans out. Peace.

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